Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which we will commemorate with a special service in the sanctuary tonight. On this day we recognize the many people who have died due to anti-transgender violence in our nation and around the world. Recently on Facebook I made a big mistake regarding gender. I mis-gendered someone based on their first name and their photo, and I made a comment on their Facebook past based on the gender that I thought they were. In the context of the issue we were posting about, gender made a big difference. A mutual friend pointed out the error that I made, and I apologized to the person and rescinded my initial post. This experience shows me that I have a lot of work to do about gender. When I reflect on what happened, I was projecting my idea of gender onto someone else, and proceeding from that assumption. I know that I do that all the time, subconsciously: upon seeing someone, I automatically want to categorize them as male or female. I am stuck in the binary world of gender categories, and therefore my work is to re-program my own thinking. There are more than two categories of gender. The male/female thing is convenient for me because that’s in my comfort zone and matches my own personal experience of gender. This is true for other identities as well, such as race and class. Based on your appearance, I am likely to project on to you what I think your racial identity is…based on your clothes and the way you speak, I am likely to project on to you a socio-economic class identity as well. This points to more work for me to do, de-programming my own assumptions beginning at the conscious level and going into the subconscious as well. Because any time I assume that I know something about you based on a perceived category, I diminish your individuality. You know how you identify in gender, race, class and other categories—you may embrace identity categories or reject them; you may define yourself as this, that, or neither one. And no one else can do that for you. Just as I want to be perceived and appreciated for my uniqueness and my nuances, I want to experience you the same way. I want to see past categories and into the real you—not the categories that I project onto you or the way I want you to be—but the way you really are. Prayer God without gender, God without race, God who loves auto mechanics and college professors equally, be with me now. Remind me of the beautiful kaleidoscope that each human represents. Help me to remove the lenses that see only black and white, male and female, rich and poor. Help me to create a community and a world where everyone is safe, where transgender people need not fear violence. Let love and trust and understanding grow between each of us as we recognize each other in our individual beauty. May that love blossom within me and may it spread to the whole world with no exceptions. Blessed Be. Aho. Amen. Andrew Frantz |
The snow and cold this week feel more like the deep of winter, though it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. I’m aware of the effect this weather has on me: it pushes me to be isolated, to stay inside. Already I have switched my jogging practice from the freedom and joy of running outside in the warm weather to the relative drudgery of running on a treadmill in a gym during the winter. I’m still grateful for the health of my body that allows me to run, and for the benefit to my mind, body, and spirit when I do it—but it’s a big seasonal adjustment.
More important is the idea of isolation versus connection. We humans are social creatures. We thrive on connections, giving and receiving love. I know that I am emotionally healthy when I am connected, and I am less emotionally healthy when I isolate. Ideally these opportunities for connection with others occur organically in the course of my daily routine, but I often need to have discipline to make it happen. For me that means reaching out to loved ones (often by text message), as well as scheduling time for social groups and support groups that I’m part of. And all of it feels harder when it’s cold and snowy outside. I’ve heard a saying that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. I’ve seen pictures of a preschool where the kids go outside and play in any weather whatsoever—if they are muddy after playing in the rain in their head-to-toe rain gear, a hose rinses them off when they come inside. In the same vein, one of my minister friends in Lansing gave advice to those of us who are new to Michigan: dress in layers. Everyone is a little bit taken aback by the severity of this early-season cold, but we are resilient people. We can handle this. My wish for you, for me, and for all of us is to stay warm and stay connected. Prayer Sprit of Life and Love, be with me now in this season of cold. Be with me in the beauty of the snow swirling outside my window. Be with me in the bright sharp feeling of the air outside and in the warmth within my body that keeps me alive. Divine spirit, be with me in calm moments of solitude, present as the still small voice within. Be with me in moments of connection with others: God-between-us that is present when we recognize the divine in one another. And be with me in the mystery beyond: in the full moon rising, in the beauty of the bare tree branches against the cloudy sky. Blessed be. Aho. Amen. Andrew Frantz This week my partner will complete the move from the home we shared in Ohio to our new home in Michigan. While I have been starting this ministry position with the Fellowship, she has been busy with the move.
I thought of this recently because of a conversation I had with a Fellowship member. This person often attends with their partner, but on this day their partner didn’t come. I asked them where their partner was. They replied that their partner made their own choices, and sometimes decided to attend and sometimes didn’t. I appreciated this gentle reminder of boundaries. My partner may sometimes come to events at the Fellowship—Sunday mornings and other times—and may not. It’s obviously not my business to decide for her, and it’s also not my place to explain her presence or absence to anyone else. This is true in other ways in a covenantal community like our Fellowship. Some people may have boundaries around how much they want to discuss their children. Or their emotional challenges. Or their illness. I think it’s OK for us to ask one another, from a place of loving kindness, about one another’s family members or other personal issues. And it’s OK for someone to choose not to talk about it. We shouldn’t take it personally if someone has boundaries around parts of their personal life. It’s up to each of us to set the boundaries that we decide to, and to honor the boundaries that others set. Rather than diminishing trust and love, healthy boundaries strengthen our covenantal community so that all can feel safe and connected in the work of love and justice that we are called to do. Prayer: Gracious and loving God: Spirit of life and love: Mother Earth and Father Sky: hear my prayer. May I have the courage to be open and vulnerable, to seek connection with others through my own willingness to share. May I have the wisdom and strength to protect what should not be shared, for the emotional good of myself and others. May I know the balance between vulnerability and strong boundaries, knowing the right time and place for each. May all people find this balance. May our community and our world be a place where everyone feels safe, where everyone chooses when to let others into their trust. May our community and our world be a place where everyone respects boundaries out of love and kindness. May the experience of safety, and of love freely given and freely received, bless the whole world with no exceptions. May it be so. Yours in faith and service, Andrew (Drew) Frantz Every day I read the news and/or listen to the news on the radio. I have an intense interest in national politics at this historic time. We are in the middle of a presidency that is changing fundamental things about our democracy and our society. The challenge for me, often, is to stay positive and grounded when consuming news that is deeply disturbing. I want to be engaged in making a difference, and spending too much time reading about things happening far away can take away from the energy I want to put in right here.
I was born in this country and it’s the only home I’ve ever known. I love the United States, although I have never thought it was better than any other country—just different. Exactly one year ago I was in Chile, visiting my son who was studying abroad there. On my phone I have a 12-second video that I took one Sunday morning, riding on a local commuter train. Musicians are playing on the train car for donations–in this case a harp and guitar duet. Families are talking. It was striking to me how much safer and happier the trains felt in Chile compared to Chicago. On Chicago trains, everyone is wary and sad looking. And in the news this week is also news about Chile, suffering unrest and violence in the capital Santiago, where I visited last year. Last week my cousin called me: she was born in Ecuador, and she asked me to pray for family members there because there is also political and social unrest, although it’s not reported much on our news. This brings me back around to our constitutional crisis with the impeachment underway and some conservative activists threatening violence if the president is impeached. I love my country, and I want democracy and decency to prevail. I love Chile, where I spent a week and where my son spent six months living with an amazing host mom. I love Ecuador, where my aunt and cousin were born and where I have visited the rainforest, a natural wonder of the world. People from one place are not better or worse than people from another place. We all have the capacity for compassion, love and generosity—and we all have the capacity for greed and violence. May the senators in Washington choose love and compassion. May it be so for everyone. Prayer: God of this great and powerful nation, God of smaller nations around the world, God of ancient nations and nations yet to be and God of no nation or tribe whatsoever, hear my prayer. May the elected officials know humility; may they be called to greater honesty and accountability, and where they have been corrupted by power, may they be healed of that corruption. May the police and armies of this nation and of every nation know restraint, so that violence does not spread. May the voice of the common people be heard, and may people gather in common purpose, expressing themselves through protest and action, through speech and voting. May we all know that we are human first before we are American, Chilean, or Ecuadorian; and may we be united in striving for compassion and fairness in every nation. May it be so. Yours in faith and service, Andrew (Drew) Frantz
As I was browsing on Facebook last week I saw a post from a dear friend about National Coming Out Day. Embarrassingly, I didn’t even know that was a thing until I saw her post. This is part of my privilege as a straight person, the luxury to be aware or unaware of the struggles of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people. For those who identify as LGBTQ, the struggle is personal, real, every day, and has life-or-death consequences. Here is the Facebook post from my friend Nancy Boutilier:
Because I am, because of those who came bravely before me, because I found support from family and friends, because of those who will follow me, because silence still equals death, because love is love, because there are still so many others to fight with and for, because queer & trans rights are civil rights are human rights, because I want them to know, I celebrate coming out whenever I can. #HappyNationalComingOutDay Nancy is a role model for me of activism, bravery, authenticity—a willingness to fiercely be herself. Maybe you can glimpse that in her few words here. Now that I realized that October 11 is National Coming Out Day, I looked it up on Wikipedia, where it says this about the origin of the holiday: The foundational belief is that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance, and that once people know that they have loved ones who are lesbian or gay, they are far less likely to maintain homophobic or oppressive views. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day) The idea of “coming out” is deeply human. All of us need to find the courage to be truly who we are, or we will live lives that are incomplete and unfulfilling. As a straight man, I don’t want to usurp the power of the LGBTQ community, but “coming out” has meaning for me too. In a world dominated by traditional toxic expressions of masculinity, I have struggled to claim my alternate form of masculinity: I’m a man whose primary characteristics are gentleness, love, and compassion. It is a risk for me to “come out” and proclaim these things about myself—but it is a greater risk to hide my authentic self. Prayer: Mother-father god, divine spirit of life and love within each one of us, hear this prayer: May I be diligent and fearless in creating a world where it is safe for everyone to come out. To come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual; to come out as butch, femme, masculine, feminine, non-binary. May we work together to create this world of safety. May each of us be courageous and authentic enough to come out in all of our beauty and power and individuality, affirming to one another that each of us is precious and good and whole just as we are. May our communities of love, acceptance, and safety be stronger than the voices of hate and shame, and may the strength of our love and healing flow outward in every direction. Andrew Frantz October 16, 2019 Today is Yom Kippur, the high holy day of the Jewish faith, the day of atonement. On this day Jews fast and pray, looking for ways to be more like the angels. As we pray, we repent of the ways we have fallen and seek to brush ourselves off to continue the journey.
God of Israel and of America, God of Africa and Asia and of every place named and un-named, hear my prayer. There have been times I failed in love for others and for myself. May I grow stronger in love; may I forgive myself and others as I seek to be forgiven. I grew up in a small town in Massachusetts with a lot of Jewish families. My childhood friends Craig, Peter, Rob, Debbie, Kim, and Heidi were all Jewish, and many more. I went to bar-mitzvah ceremonies for my friends when we were in junior high; in college I went to a Friday evening seder at a friend’s apartment in Manhattan. Later I lived in a different part of the state, where very few Jews lived, and I was surprised to encounter ignorance and negative stereotypes of Jews there. No longer does it surprise me when I see anti-semitic vandalism or even violence on the news. Today’s report of a shooting at a synagogue in Germany feels like more of the same—and yet it can never be normal. We must all pay attention, again, to the rise of hate crimes in America and abroad. We must all denounce violence and hatred, and voice our support for the victims. And we are all victims. A world where Jewish synagogues and Muslim mosques are targets of violence is a world where I am less safe, and where my values are under attack. On this day of Yom Kippur may we celebrate our connection to our Jewish brothers and sisters and siblings. May we seek to be more like the angels: forgiving and forgiven; loving; and working for a world of peace and justice. Shalom. Andrew (Drew) Frantz Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Central Michigan
The rainbow flag that hangs in our vestibule during the week, and flies outside our University Street entrance on Sunday mornings, is an important symbol for our congregation. Displayed beneath the Black Lives Matter banner, together these two symbols make a bold statement to everyone who passes by. I have heard more than one person say that noticing the Black Lives Matter banner or the rainbow flag on our building is what first drew them to come inside and check us out.
I identify as heterosexual, and I am honored and proud and humbled to carry the rainbow flag from its safe place in the church vestibule to its more bold and prominent place outside. This is something that we do every Sunday morning before church, and lately I’ve started doing it at other times when I’m working at the Fellowship. There are hours during the week when I’m the only one in the building, but flying the rainbow flag is like proclaiming that the Fellowship is open for business—the business of radical inclusion, the business of welcoming everyone with love and fighting for justice. I’m keenly aware of the irony in my carrying the flag: as a member of the privileged group (heterosexuals), I’m making a statement for the rights and dignity of those who are oppressed (anyone who identifies as homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual). When I’m in the privileged group, I can’t pretend that I know what the experience of the oppressed group is. Nor should I presume to know how to fight for their rights—if I want to be an ally in someone else’s struggle, I need to follow their lead and listen more than I speak. I happen to be a person with many privileged identities, and my intention is always to be aware of my privilege and to use my power and my voice to dismantle oppressive systems and create loving community. As a straight person, I strive for gay rights; as a cisgender person, I promote transgender equality; as a man, I call for women’s rights; as a person who has been socialized into an identity of whiteness, I denounce white supremacy; as an able-bodied person, I advocate for people with disabilities; as a person with money, I say we need to fix a broken economic system that punishes people without money; and as a highly educated person, I believe we need to address our prejudice against people with less formal education. Believe it or not, I think about all of these things when I carry the rainbow flag from the vestibule, down the sidewalk, to the Fellowship’s front steps. I’m fiercely glad to be part of religion that believes in justice for all. Proclaiming our beliefs through these symbolic banners makes us a magnet for like-minded people and a target for people who disagree. May we always be ready to declare ourselves on the side of loving multi-cultural community, and against oppression in any form. Prayer: May I always see myself in other people, seeing beyond difference to the common humanity within. May I know that our destiny is linked: your freedom is my freedom; your oppression is my oppression; your suffering is my suffering. And may love remove the barriers between us, so that together we can build the beloved community we seek. Yours in faith and service, Andrew (Drew) Frantz September 25, 2019 A highlight of my week was participating in the peace rally “Let Peace Reign” sponsored by the Isabella County Human Rights Committee last Saturday. As a newcomer to Mount Pleasant, I’m eager to find out who is active in the social justice arena of the city. As your minister, I was honored to show up and to represent the Fellowship at this event. I was the only religious leader there, and when one of the other participants asked me what I church I represented, and I told him, “Unitarian Universalist,” he said: “Oh, of course.”
Of course UU’s show up for rallies and marches and vigils and pride parades. This is what we believe in and this is who we are. The event was small, but included police officers, the mayor of the city, two administrators from Central Michigan University, and the chief of the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe. It made me think about who we are as the UU Fellowship of this city and how we fit in. How are we seen and known in this community? What other groups do we have natural affiliations with, and what groups should we be working harder to communicate with and cooperate with? A lot of my work in the first three weeks of my time here has been getting to know the people inside our walls—the members and friends, the ones who are reading this letter. Part of my job is also to be involved in the community—and I’m aware that many people in the congregation don’t live in Mount Pleasant, so the “community” is more than the city and includes the region. As I continue this work I look forward to growing into this role and hearing from you what people and organizations you’re connected with in the area, and where you think the Fellowship should be getting more connected. Two of the speakers at the rally, musing on the theme of “peace,” spoke not about international conflict but about parenting: being a father and raising children in an atmosphere of peace; working for a world of peace for their children to grow up in. I appreciate this connection to the service we celebrated on Sunday, the blessing of children and teachers. Everything we do in the realm of social justice, like the good work of the Isabella County Human Rights Committee, is for our children and their children. Finally, I will pass on an invitation that I got at the peace rally for an all-day peace symposium in East Lansing this Saturday, September 21, from 10:00-3:30. The title is “Building a Peace Economy” and the information is at www.PeaceEdCenter.org. Prayer: May we be aware of our place in the world, like branches in a tree. Each person is a tiny branch, connected and rooted to others; our religious community is a larger branch growing next to others: other churches, other organizations. We all are blown by the same wind, fed by the same rain, dependent on the same sunshine. May all beings grow and thrive and be at peace. Yours in faith and service, Andrew (Drew) Frantz September 18, 2019 |
Rev. Andrew FrantzUUFCM Minister Summer Hours
Rev. Drew takes six weeks of time off during the summer months, and is also away for a full week at General Assembly. Although regular office hours are suspended for the summer, you may still contact Drew with any urgent Fellowship business if needed, or with significant pastoral care needs. Texting 440-935-0129 is the best way to reach Rev. Drew. [email protected] Phone/text: 440-935-0129 Pastoral Care Concerns
For support with life’s challenges, please contact Drew during his office hours or make an appointment with him. For specific needs such as rides to medical appointments or meals for people recovering from illness or surgery, please contact the Caring Team (formerly Arms Around) via Jen Prout at 989-400-3130 or [email protected]. Every effort will be made to lessen the burden on the individual or family who is dealing with a difficult circumstance. Archives
June 2024
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